Overheard in Software Quality Assurance Department:
"How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None: they claim 'the light works fine on our system ...'"
Software Development Plan:
See Dick and Jane design. Design, design, design!
Then have PDR. Then design some more. Design before coding! Next have CDR. Now you can code.
See Dick and Jane code. Code, code, code!
Next comes test. Test, test, test! Pass acceptance test. Make a profit!
Smile, smile, smile!
Lousy QA jobs
When you have had one of those TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT days, try this:
On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by *Q-Tip. Be very sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy.
Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit, and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that: *every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested.*
Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company."
Japanese Quality (From an article in The (Toronto) Globe and Mail:)
Mr. Jones related an incident from "some time back" when IBM Canada Ltd. of Markham, Ont., ordered some parts from a new supplier in Japan. The company noted in its order that acceptable quality allowed for 1.5 per cent defects (a fairly high standard in North America at the time).
The Japanese sent the order, with a few parts packaged separately in plastic. The accompanying letter said: "We don't know why you want 1.5 per cent defective parts, but for your convenience, we've packed them separately."