I became interested in math because of my father. He played number games with me, taught me wonderful things like algebra and logarithms long before I was exposed to them in school, and helped me see the interesting patterns in math. My first attempt at college (liberal arts; girls didn't DO engineering back then, although I did take engineering math and was #1 in the class) was cut short by a family tragedy. I was married with 3 children when I decided to go to engineering school. My husband was very supportive.
It's difficult for parents who have no ability in math or science to give their children the kind of encouragement I got from my father. However, they can search out books that make math and science interesting and fun; not textbooks, but good fiction (science fiction was the inspiration for my eventual entry into engineering).
They can buy computers for them, with programs and games that cater to girls' interests (most girls are NOT interested in combat games, I find. Because most of the best games are combat games, that means that boys are more comfortable with computers because they spend more time with them.) If they can find newsgroups on the internet that discuss the girls' interests, there will be lots of pointers to sites that will also interest them. In general, I think that the Internet is one of the best things to happen to computing for girls' sake; they're far more likely at first to spend time working with computers for the sake of the information and common interests they can find over the Internet than for the games that take so much of the boys' time.
Parents also need to take an active part in schools. I'm not talking about the ordinary PTA-type work, but about helping to determine what and how their children are taught. Are there enough computers for all the students? Are all of the students, boys AND girls, encouraged to use the computers for both play and study? Are there appropriate programs on the computers at school (see the previous paragraph)? Are math and science learned by rote, or are there interesting things to do in and out of class? And at home ... are the girls being encouraged to excel in all subjects, not just the humanities?
A special effort needs to be made to ensure that girls are not subtly discouraged from taking and doing their best in the math and science classes; perhaps a scholar's award program or other public recognition would help, for the best boys, the best girls, and for "best in school" where boys and girls compete against each other (obviously, the "best in school" would be won by the best boy or girl). This must start early, to prevent the idea that it's "unfeminine" to be good at such things or to be better than a boy. Parents, teachers, and counselors must join in encouraging the girls to excel; a single nay-sayer can undo much positive encouragement from others.
Linda Kovacs (kovacsla@vnet.ibm.com)