Name:       Gregory Scott Johnson
Age: younger than many, older than some
Stats: brown hair, brown eyes, 120lbs, 64"
Habits: primarily nocturnal, can often be seen foraging for fine wine and excellent cigars, avoids VegemiteTM and MarmiteTM like the plague

The following is a brief historical account of my years in existence to date. My sincerest apologies in advance to I.A., for borrowing his tongue-in-cheek approach. It all began...

I was born and raised in Denver, Colorado, alongside my older sister whom I tormented mercilessly as a child. Before she could kill me off however, I escaped to Fairbanks, Alaska. There I enrolled in the computer science program at the University of Alaska Fairbanks. Having adapted to my new home, it wasn't long before I began mercilessly tormenting my roommates. Despite numerous "whitewashes" (read "bury a person in a snow bank"), before they were able to plot my final downfall, I graduated with a B.S. in Computer Science in 1993 with honors.

In 1994, deciding that I should have a quick escape route should my old roommates come back to finish the job, I decided to take up flying. Surviving the early lessons without serious damage to the airplane and only minor damage to the instructor, I soloed around mid-July. Finally, late in the summer, in sincere appreciation for returning him to the airport in one piece, a FAA certified examiner granted me my private pilots license.

Well it wasn't long before I grew restless (3 days actually) and decided I should go back to school. Perhaps I yearned to experience once more that unique combination of masochism and humility that only a student can know. Two years later, out popped a shiny new Masters degree.

Eventually I'll get around to writing about how I obtained my M.S. and lived to tell about it, my early career, and precisely what motivates me to jump off cliffs for sport...